What Can I do With All This Stress

What Can I Do With All This Stress? 
 

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." - Jesus, John 16:33

One of the aspects of stress that is problematic, is that it is cumulative. What do I mean? Stress is something that builds over time, even when we are not consciously aware of it. With more responsibility, new problems, painful situations, stress can take an emotional toll on us.

As a growing Christian, we must allow stress to help us grow in our dependence on Christ in every area of our life. We cannot let it overwhelm us and negatively impact us and those around us. How we process stress in our life will significantly affect us spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

Here is a beneficial process that I have personally applied and counseled my clients to work on. You can get your Bible and pen and paper and it can be help to you!

First of all, reflect on these verses through meditation and memorization. Any other scriptures that are personally meaningful to you concerning God's grace are helpful.

Isaiah 40:29, "He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength."
Psalm 73:26, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Jeremiah 32:17, "Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you."

Secondly, pray and ask the Lord to help you make a list of your top 10 fears, concerns, worries, painful situations, etc.

Write them down. Take that list and evaluate what bucket to put each item. Separating our list into these different categories can help us to know how to address the different areas that impact our lives. There could be aspects of each burden that apply in more than one bucket.
The three buckets are:

• I can still change it, and what does the Lord want me to do about it? Pray and ask God for wisdom as to what steps you can take to address the situation. Write down your applications. Be proactive. As you begin to apply these steps, the stress in your life will lessen, and the sense of accomplishment will increase, relieving stress.

"Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." Peter, 1 Peter 1:13

• I can't change the situation, and I need to grieve the loss and accept it. When people experience the painful reality of loss in their life, they are at risk of getting stuck in depression in the grief cycle. Losing hope can be replaced with faith if I allow myself to feel the pain and look to Christ for healing and accept the loss. We can then put our confidence and trust in God for what will happen to us and know he will use it in our lives for good.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Paul, Romans 8:18  

• It can still change, but only God can change it, and I need to trust God with the situation. Trusting God is an excellent place for us to be. We learn in scripture that there are many things that only God can change. We need to distinguish between what is our responsibility to change something and what only God can change. If we take responsibility for only what God can change, it will lead to us controlling another person or situation that will add to our stress and sense of hopelessness and make the situation worse.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

As you prayerfully process through these steps my hope is that it will help you find help in relieving your stress and experience the grace of God as you depend on him. 

How Stressed Out Are You?

How Stressed Out Are You?  
 

Psalm 25:12,13a "Who is the man who fears the Lord? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose. His soul shall abide in well-being..."

One of my goals as a counselor is helping my clients remain as functional as possible as they address the painful emotional issues in their lives. Sometimes this can be difficult for some people depending on several factors. One crucial factor in this is their current stress levels and how they manage it. It is essential to become more self-aware of the impact of stress in our lives, because we are not always realistic about how many responsibilities we can take on. Most importantly, prolonged stress in our lives will lead to burnout!

One verse that has been important to me in regards to my own self-awareness is Romans 12:3, "For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned." Notice that Paul uses the term "sober judgment" to describe having a proper perspective of yourself, instead of "more highly" of yourself, which is rooted in the flesh, pride, and self-sufficiency.  

Recently a good friend of mine introduced me to the "Human Function Curve" in a helpful diagram. Here are some helpful questions to better evaluate yourself. 

1. Where are you at on the function curve?

2. Where does God want you to be on the function curve?

3. What can you do to move towards God's best for your life in this regard?

4. What are you trying to control that you need to turn over to God?

5. Are you self medicating to address your stress? 

6. What is the trajectory of your life? Is the path towards 'self,' or is it 'other-minded'?

HELP...I AM STRESSED OUT!!!

Isaiah 26:3, "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you."

Do you know there is a difference between good stress and bad stress? We all experience stress to some degree in our lives; it is a regular aspect of our busy lives. However, bad stress can impact our physical health, emotional wellbeing, and bring spiritual conflicts in our lives. Good stress can motivate and challenge us toward a more fruitful life. I define stress in my life as feeling like I have seven things I need to get done and feeling like I only have time to do three. We all need to be aware of how we are impacted by stress and ask ourselves a few questions. What is good and bad stress in my life? How do I respond to stress? How does stress impact relationships around me? Am I looking to Christ for help? 

Here are a few things that I evaluate regarding stress and what we can do to help ourselves. 

Causes of Stress

• Perfectionism

• A need for control

• People pleasing

• Unrealistic expectations regarding an expected end

• Failure to plan and prepare for the future

Symptoms of Stress

• Are you having difficulty trusting God in essential areas of your life? 

• Do you suffer from neck or backaches, frequent headaches, insomnia, or chest pains?

• Do you have destructive habits, need medication or alcohol to relax?

• Are you frequently tense or irritable?

• Are you tired most of the time?

• Do you often have butterflies or knots in your stomach?

• Are you insensitive to the needs of others around you?

• Do you ever feel like you may explode or lose control sometimes?

• Do you often find yourself either discouraged or depressed?

Thirty ways to Help Yourself 

1. Never forget your identity in Christ and that you are God's child, and He loves you and has your best interest at heart. Ephesians 1:3-6; 1 John 4:16

2. Reflect on the reality of the sovereignty of God. He is supreme and in control of everything. Proverbs 16:9; Psalm 103:19; Romans 8:28

3. Get a complete physical checkup. Only take medicine when advised by a physician. Avoid the use of alcohol, drugs, etc. 

4. Start an exercise program at least three times a week for twenty minutes. Remember Jesus walked daily. I Corinthians 9:27

5. Accept the fact that everyone has stress. Change your attitude about stressful or anxiety-producing situations. Phil. 4:11; Hebrews 13:5

6. Find a friend or counselor to talk with about your problems. James 5:16; Proverbs 11:14; 15:22; 24:6

7. Develop a constructive outlet for your stress. Tension or stress repressed inwardly can result in sickness. Eph. 4:15; I Cor. 9:27. 

8. Have a specific procedure for dealing with problems that arise. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Proverbs 2:9-12

9. Work at maintaining a balanced lifestyle and with adequate rest and sleep.

10. Renew your mind with Scripture. Romans 12:1-2; Psalms 1:2; 2 Cor. 10:5

11. Plan daily activities ahead of time and try to stick to your schedule even though you may not feel like it. Galatians 5:24; James 1:22; Proverbs 6:6-8

12. Join a community group or plan activities involving other people. Participate in planned recreation activities that you enjoy.

13. Set aside time daily for prayer, Bible study, and Scripture memory. II Timothy 2:15; Psalm 119:11

14. Attend church every week unless physically ill. Hebrews 10:25; I Cor. 16:1-2

15. Participate in some ministry where you can help others. Ephesians 4:26; Matthew 5:23-24

16. Resolve anger in relationships before the sun goes down. Ephesians 4:26; Matthew 5:23-24

17. Appropriately confront your fears with courage and strength. Proverbs 3:25; Psalm 27:1

18. Set high enough standards for your habits and behavior. Set limits for your life and learn to be assertive. Psalm 119:105; I Timothy 4:8; II Peter 1:6-7; Eccl. 12:12; Proverbs 4:14-15

19. Set realistic expectations for yourself and those around you and look at the positive aspect of circumstances. Philippians 4:8; Proverbs 3:8-9

20. Avoid foods that you may have food sensitivities and allergies.

21. Establish specific priorities of things to do for the day by writing them down and placing several important notes next to them with (1) being the most important and (10) being the least important. Delegate to others what others can do.

22. Try to limit major changes in your life to reduce stress.

23. Develop a sense of humor and laugh. Proverbs 15:13; Proverbs 17:22

24. Learn to forgive and do your best to live at peace with others. Matthew 6:12, 14, 15

25. Do not dwell on the past but set goals for the future and work towards them. Philippians 3:13-14; Romans 12:1-2

26. Trust in the Lord to help you with problems that you cannot solve by yourself. Stop trying to control everyone and everything! Proverbs 3:5-6

27. Have several hobbies or activities to participate in when anxiety or depression starts to set in. Paul made even made tents. Make a list of five things that you will do whenever you start to get anxious that can bring joy.

28. Work on communication by not assuming what others think and simply ask what they are thinking. James 4:3 

29. Are there any lies on the tapes that play in your mind? Address every lie with the truth of God's Word. Ephesians 6:16

30. Spend less time in front of a screen in the evening. Read a real book before you go to sleep.