Psalm 127:1-5 "Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."
In recent years we have witnessed many redefinitions in our culture of what is foundational to God's design and created order regarding gender, marriage, and family. Historically, it is hard to compare what we are witnessing these days. Regardless, God's design and sovereignty reign over his creation and people!
Marriages and families are under spiritual attack like no other time in my 36 years of ministry. I encourage our clients to be centered on Jesus Christ as they submit to living in Christ and for His Kingdom and his plan for their lives, marriages, and family.
Building a Foundation
The words of Christ help us build a sound foundation. To not labor in vain, we must hear his words and apply them to our life.
Matthew 7:21 "Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it."
1 Corinthians 3:11-14 "For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw—each one's work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done."
HOW CAN WE BUILD WITH CHRIST AND NOT LABOR IN VAIN?
Building my house in my own strength, instead of daily dependence on the grace of God and leading of the Holy Spirit. (Implementing all the right standards, techniques, and formulas without Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit being in it.)
1 Corinthians 15:10 "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me."
The best thing that a father can give his children is being an example of abiding in the Lord.
John 15:3-5 "Already you are clean because of the Word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."
You are leaning on your understanding instead of gaining wisdom according to the scriptures.
Proverbs 3:1-8 "My son, do not forget my teaching but let your heart keep my commandments, for the length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.
Building by myself. I call it the "It's All Up to Me" mindset. Instead of trusting God, looking to others for accountability, counsel, and mentoring within the church.
Proverbs 18:1, 2 "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. A fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing his opinion."
Wives and mothers- Proverbs 14:1 "The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down."
Husbands and fathers- Proverbs 24:3-6 "By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might, for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in the abundance of counselors there is victory."
Families being driven by constant and unconsidered activity, filled with busyness instead of prioritizing the most beneficial things in life.
Luke 10:38-42 "Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."
Home is the center of relational family life, worship, and discipleship. Someone once said, "The problem is not prioritizing your schedule. It is scheduling your priorities." We can be involved in many good things, but we must choose the excellent things we value and ultimately meet our marriage and family goals.
Busyness helps us not feel what we do not want to feel or face in our lives. We enjoy the distraction of it, from having to face ourselves, God, and all that might bring up.
Satan's Goal: To run you hard and wear you down, making you vulnerable to temptation.
Dangers of Being Too Busy
• Little or no time for intimacy with God
• Not enough time to nurture heart-to-heart relationships
• Not enough time to address conflicts and problems that impact the heart of those in the family (A GET-OVER-IT mentality, leaving people not being understood.)
• Not enough individual time for children to experience being the "beloved son or daughter."
• Too much multi-tasking (Note: You can only pay attention to one person at a time.
• Not enough time for Family Worship and prayer times together
Please pray for our counselees regarding their marriage and family needs.
May the grace of God strengthen you in these difficult days!
Jeff